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The summer movie season is coming to an end. The theatres were clogged with sequels galore, which ranged from the abysmal (Spider-Man 3) to okay (Live Free or Die Hard) to pretty good (Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix) to stellar (Bourne Ultimatum). Anyway, I had some fun coming up with titles of what may be in the theaters next summer.
“Pirates of the Caribbean 4: Depp is Back as Jack”
tagline: Johnny Depp is in it, so come and see it! We want to squeeze all we can out of this franchise!
“Transformers 2: Even Less Than Meets the Eye!”
“Died Hard”
“Oceans 11,487″
“Hairgrease”: John Travolta as Danny Zuko in drag
tagline: Oh my GAWD! Sandy, does this dress make me look fat?
“Borat visits Hogwarts to make sexy time with Hermione”
“Will Ferrell Almighty”
“301: The Forgotten Spartan”
“Overdog”
“Supergood”
Matt Damon is…”Still Bourne!” (Get it?! I know, it’s horrible…but horribly funny! This one was my brother’s, gotta give credit where credit is due!)
- OR - “AVJ: Alien vs. Jason”
“The Incredibles 2″
(just ’cause…wouldn’t that be great? Brad Bird, get working on it!)
Hope a few of those made you chuckle. To see what is actually slated for the summer of 2008 including “Indiana Jones 4” and “The Incredible Hulk“, check out Reviewing the Summer Blockbusters of 2008 >>
…was apparently one of the lines used to describe Barnabas Collins in the gothic soap opera, Dark Shadows, which ran on ABC from 1966-1971 for over 1,200 episodes. They didn’t use the word “vampire” until the 410th episode, according to the trivia on imdb. I’ve never heard of this show, but it seems like a riot! It’s about a wealthy family in Maine, and strange events surrounding them involving vampires, witches and werewolves. The show still has a dedicated fan base that attends Dark Shadow Conventions called the Dark Shadow Festival. Sounds like time to throw this on my Netflix queue!
I just found out on Rotten Tomatoes that Johnny Depp will be in the big screen adaptation. He is a huge fan of the old series, and a deal has just been closed between Warner Bros. and the estate of Dark Shadows creator Dan Curtis according to Variety. Depp reportedly wanted to be Barnabas Collins, the vampire patriarch, as a child watching the show.
I love vampires, I love campy vampires, and I love Johnny Depp. I can’t wait!
I fiiinally made it out to see Live Free or Die Hard, and I must say I had a blast! However, I think the key to my enjoyment was that I heard so much in the 2 weeks since its release that it was not worthy of being called a “Die Hard” movie, but that it was only a fun Bruce Willis action movie, that I prepared myself mentally and got what I expected.
First, I gotta say that Bruce is still hot! He’s tough and definitely not too old for this s&*#. Willis stepping back into the his trademark character John McClane – in a PG-13-ified version with no swearing and no wife-beater – was enjoyable to watch. Actually, the movie as a whole didn’t take itself too seriously and it was self aware of its oftentimes ridiculous action scenes (the truck scene was so silly!), which in turn made the ridiculous scenes forgiveable.
Justin Long was adorable in it, and not as annoying as I anticipated him to be. All the other characters were pretty cool in my book…from Maggie Q as an ass-kicking villain to the well-cast Mary Elizabeth Winstead who channeled Holly Gennero McClane’s energy (played by Bonnie Bedelia in Die Hard & Die Hard 2). I did feel like Kevin Smith could have had better lines – couldn’t they have let him write some of his own lines? (or did they?)
I’m guessing that 20th Century Fox hired Len Wiseman (“Underworld”) to direct Die Hard 4 instead of John McTiernan – or someone of his experience level – since the movie was designed for Justin Long’s generation, not Bruce Willis.’ (Let’s just say I gasped loudly when Long’s character dissed CCR, even though the film was pro-Creedence) So that was a shame, but hey, I’m not complaining. I had a great time in the theater.
Basically, the movie was really cute. “Cute” is a word that wouldn’t be used to describe any “Die Hard” movie, so in summation, Live Free was a really great Bruce Willis summer action flick that goes great with a big greasy tub of popcorn after clicking your brain to the comfortable “off” position, ready to ingest empty calories.
Check out Moviehole for a pretty balanced review by a Die Hard (pun intended) fan of the original trilogy. His review is less positive than mine, but he hits the nail on the head.
I watched Bruce Willis on The Daily Show today (as much as I love him in movies, he really, really should just stick to other people writing dialogue for him – in fact, I think he should hire someone to do that for him in everyday circumstances or at least for talk show appearances – it’s embarrassing, Bruce! We love you and you rock, but please, don’t joke, you’re not funny.) Anyway, I was seized with stress about whether Live Free or Die Hard was going to be terrible since I really want it to be good.
So far, all the summer sequels have let me down…from Spidey to Pirates. I was expecting “Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End” to be terrible so it didn’t make me angry and it was for the most part fun, but “Spider-Man 3” was like a slap in the face, it was so awful.
I’m a huge fan of the Die Hard movies – what can I say? I love “guy” movies. I know they won’t ever make the AFI’s 100 Greatest Movies list, but there’s a time and place for all Great movies. Observe:*
In the mood for…
…brushing up on film history? Watch Citizen Kane, Seven Samurai, Lawrence of Arabia, & Casablanca for a start.
…laughing? Young Frankenstein, Spinal Tap, Airplane! or Monty Python & The Holy Grail.
…being inspired? To Kill A Mockingbird, Searching For Bobby Fischer, It’s A Wonderful Life
…being scared to death? The Exorcist, The Shining, Silence of the Lambs, The Omen
…Yippee ki ya MotherF^%#$*? Die Hard, beeatch!
When I saw on Rotten Tomatoes that Live Free or Die Hard got a 76% on the Tomatometer, I breathed a sigh of relief. Maybe it will actually be good. I’ll let you know.
*note: These movies are off the top of my head – I have about a zillion favorite movies and if I broke them down by genre, this post would be so long you wouldn’t have the patience to read it.
I just saw “1408,” which I’d give 3 1/2 stars, a B+, a fresh tomato, or a thumbs up to (choose whichever rating system you’re comfortable with). It’s more fun if you don’t know that much about it before you see it, so I’ll just say 3 quick things:
- John Cusack’s performance was stellar. Samuel L. Jackson’s brief role was delicious.
- Had a few really scary/cool moments & great sound design. Middle part was boring.
- If you like supernatural thrillers, just go see it – it won’t knock your socks off, but it’s one of the better ones and I totally enjoyed it.
“1408” was based on Stephen King’s short story, which is available on his audio book, “Blood and Smoke.” One of the taglines for “1408″ is “Based on the terrifying story by Stephen King.” That tagline wouldn’t work if you put another best-selling novelist, say Dean Koontz, in its place. So I wanted to ramble about Stephen King for a bit…
Sure, King is prolific, but there have been myriad authors who wrote faster (Mary Faulker, a romance novelist @ 900+ books, John Creasey, an English thriller writer @ 500+ novels, Anthony Trollope and so on and so forth). King’s books aren’t of the “Great Expectations” or “Moby Dick” caliber, but they’re not meant to be. He certainly takes a lot of crap from literary snobs for his commercial success, but the sheer volume of King’s works which have been ingrained into popular culture is impressive, indeed.
I just like him. He seems to be a humble and down to earth guy. He’s quirky and kooky, he plays guitar in an all-writer’s band, he’s a dedicated father and husband (married to the same woman he married after college), he survived alcoholism, drug addiction and a serious accident…he’s just a really interesting dude. He’s not trying to be Edgar Allan Poe or Shakespeare. He simply has a ton of great ideas in his head, and he writes them down. The results more often than not entertain the hell out of us.
I highly recommend King’s “On Writing,” which is a wonderful, practical and unpretentious book for anyone interested in the craft of writing. There is no doubt in my mind that he’s a genius that is lucky enough to be appreciated in his own time.
So write on, Mr. King, and we’ll keep reading!
Hot Fuzz: A hilarious action comedy with heart…and a funny swan
I felt like I should do a follow up post on “Hot Fuzz,” so here goes. Don’t worry, there won’t be any spoilers, but if you haven’t seen the film, you won’t get all the painstakingly incorporated references (ok, references thrown in with moderate effort) I wrote in this post. So run and see the movie and then come back to reread my post!
Starting with the negative, the only critique I have is that “Hot Fuzz” was not quite as good as I had anticipated – “Shaun of the Dead” had a tighter script that never lost its momentum, but “Hot Fuzz” starts to lag through the second act. However, it packs quite a punch in the last half hour for a satisfying finish.
“Hot Fuzz” was a much more ambitious film than “Shaun of the Dead,” and it more than makes up for its slight imperfections with the brilliant comedy and action. Simon Pegg and Nick Frost’s chemistry is a delight to watch. Their rapport is engaging, funny, and most of all really sweet. Their comic timing is flawless, and they are so damn interesting to watch that you can’t take your eyes off of them. The supporting cast is excellent, notably Jim Broadbent, Timothy Dalton, Bill Nighy and Paddy Considine. Watch out for uncredited roles by Cate Blanchett and Peter Jackson, too.
This quotable movie undoubtedly already has and will continue to provide tens of minutes of quoting glee (with I’d imagine bad English accents if you’re American). One of my favorite jokes was:
Nicholas Angel [Pegg]: We have to do something, Frank’s appointed himself as Judge, Jury and Executioner.
Danny Butterman [Frost]: (agitated and defensive) He is not Judge Judy and Executioner!
Read more memorable quotes >>
The action scenes were a blast, and the movie is chock full of winks to film geeks. (I loved the sly reference to “The Shining” in “Hot Fuzz” – I’ll give you a hint: The “hag” said it…watch it again if you missed it. What is it exactly about “The Shining” that compels all of us film nerds to sneak in a reference to it? There was even one that tried to make it into McG’s “Charlie’s Angels” – a completely recreated red bathroom – talk about random and a wise outtake. But I digress.)
This is definitely a guy movie, but I loved it, being a girl that loves “Bad Boys” almost as much as “Hot Fuzz” helmer Edgar Wright does – it’s the second DVD I ever bought! Note the obvious similarity of the “Hot Fuzz” onesheet to the “Bad Boys 2″ poster. This film has been described as a Hollywood action parody by some, but I saw it not as a spoof but as a heartfelt hats off to the good cop/ buddy action flicks of the Donner (Lethal Weapon)/ McTiernan (Die Hard) / Bruckheimer mold. The great references to “Point Break” (directed by Kathryn Bigelow) and the impeccable match shots from “Bad Boys” were just….off the f*$#ing chain! It’s refreshing to see such a talented and fresh director be unashamed to admit that he genuinely liked Bad Boys 2, but then go and make a movie that is infinitely superior. While I myself didn’t like “Bad Boys 2”, I did LOVE “Armageddon” and was ridiculed in a film class for admitting to listening to Michael Bay’s DVD commentary (stupid pretentious film students!). “Hot Fuzz” is definitely very unpretentious, good fun. But even if you don’t know the referenced action movies by heart, I have no doubt that you’ll still love “Hot Fuzz” for its characters, jokes, and action.
If you haven’t watched it yet, what are you waiting for? This trailer (not shown in the U.S.) will make you want to SPEED (preferably in a car chase), not walk, to the theater! I guarantee that “Hot Fuzz” will make you want to shoot two guns whilst jumping through the air and utter, “Shit just got real!”
If you can’t view the video, click here.
YARB.
For those that loved the best romantic comedy with zombies ever made (not to mention one of the most clever, funniest movies ever), Shaun of the Dead, writer/director Edgar Wright and writer/actor Simon Pegg are back with Hot Fuzz! Pegg plays a London supercop, and reteams with the deliciously hilarious Nick Frost, portraying an overeager policeman in the sleepy town of Sandford. Bill Nighy (love him!), Jim Broadbent, and Timothy Dalton round out the cast. Here’s a teaser trailer:
If you can’t see the video window, click here.
Hot Fuzz opens this Friday, April 20, 2007 in select theaters in the U.S.
I finally went to see Pedro Almodóvar’s Volver a few weeks ago which I thought was incredibly powerful, gorgeous to look at (those colors!) and beautifully acted.
Since I saw the film and discovered that the passionate voice singing “Volver” that Penelope Cruz lip syncs to belonged to Estrella Morente, I’ve become a big fan. I just got her debut album My Songs and a Poem, and plan on getting her second and newest album, Mujeres very soon.
Here’s a clip from Volver:
If you can’t view the video, click here.
The classic tango song “Volver” was written by “the King of Tango” Carlos Gardel, who was born in the late 1800’s and became immensely popular. He tragically died in a plane crash at the peak of his career. The phrase “Veinte años no es nada (Twenty years is nothing)” from “Volver” became a famous saying throughout Latin America.
By putting this out there, I feel like I might be forever deemed uncool by cinephiles in the way Elaine Benes in Seinfeld was ostracized from the community when she admitted to hating The English Patient in Episode 151 (and I hated The English Patient too!).
Critics have embraced The Host, the biggest Korean box office hit ever that opened in the U.S. on March 9, 2007. It’s advertised as “One of the best reviewed films of 2007″ so far. Ain’t It Cool News compared it to Jaws. That’s going overboard…pun intended. Here’s a brief synopsis:
An American military officer orders a reluctant Korean subordinate to pour gallons of toxic chemicals down the sink, leading into the Han River, which results in a horrible mutated monster years later. The monster kidnaps a little girl, the daughter of a lazy snack kiosk worker, and the girl’s family spends the rest of the film trying to find her after getting a garbled cell phone call from her. Meanwhile, there is a conspiracy that the monster is actually a host of a deadly virus, and everyone that was in contact with it are quarantined and tested on by the government.
I really did not enjoy it, and here’s why in a nutshell:
I found the characters to be pathetic, unlikeable, and frustrating (I just wanted to shake the hell out of the main character, Gang-Du, convincingly played by Kang-ho Song, and scream at him to get his act together and stop bawling like a little girl every five minutes). The only character I liked was the actual little girl, the strong and heroic Hyun-Seo, impressively portrayed by Ah-sung Ko. The scenes where she is trying to escape from the monster as she is trapped in the sewers were truly thrilling.
The special effects were uneven, the monster scenes too sparse, the slapstick comedy a bit awkward despite delivering a few genuine laughs, and the long and boring scenes about the virus conspiracy and conversations between the family members added to my frustration. I won’t put in any spoilers here, but the film left me feeling depressed and totally unsatisfied.
I will admit it was an interesting exercise in filmmaking. So even though I appreciated the genre-mixing, the social commentary, and how it expressed that there are many kinds of monsters we must fight, I still hated The Host.
Read the reelviews.net review by James Berardinelli; it’s the only review I agree with. But check it out for yourself, maybe you’ll love it and we can have a heated debate. Visit the Host’s Official Site or go to Movietickets.com for local showtimes & tickets.
For a fun list of overrated films that filmgoers and that bald gold man Oscar generally liked, go to Premiere Magazine’s 20 Most Overrated Movies of All Time >>
